[Answer] Does My Husband Truly Love Me?

[Answer] Does My Husband Truly Love Me?

I think the saying, “When the water is too clear, there will be no fish; when a person is too perceptive, they will have no companions,” may not be the most perfect fit for this question, but it does offer some insight to a certain extent. Some people say that even the most loving couples will, at least 200 times in their lives, have the thought of wanting to kill each other. So-called love should perhaps be judged more on a long-term, continuous scale. Human beings—men in particular—are creatures prone to impulse. If we use a momentary impulse in a specific time and place to determine whether love still exists, that may not be entirely fair.

Of course, some may say this is just making excuses for men. But inner impulses and animal desires are indeed among the instincts of males, perhaps even the most important ones. The natural pursuit of novelty and excitement often falls into fierce conflict with the rationality imposed by society and morality. Reason, detachment, and that hollow “post-clarity” often appear only after the release of desire. Before that, however, one may already have committed various mistakes that should not have been made.

There is also an old saying: “Of all virtues, filial piety comes first: judge the heart, not the actions; if you judge by actions, there would be no filial children under heaven. Of all evils, lust comes first: judge the actions, not the heart; if you judge by the heart, there would be no flawless person in the world.” Even the noblest person will inevitably have sordid thoughts from time to time; they are simply better able to control themselves and not let those thoughts consume them or turn into actions.

So objectively speaking, the man in this question may not be especially terrible compared with many others. There are people far worse who are still forgiven; there are also people in similar situations who were simply never found out; and there are also relationships like the questioner’s—or even involving milder issues—that ended because one side simply could not tolerate it. So perhaps no situation can be judged in a one-size-fits-all way. Much depends on the attitude and determination with which two people choose to relate to each other.

However, one thing is certain: the adult world is never simply black and white. Sometimes, pretending not to understand what one clearly understands may actually bring more happiness and joy in life. After all, we only live once—is the truth really more important?