[Response] How Should We Educate Children?

[Response] How Should We Educate Children?

Confucius said, “In education, there should be no class distinctions.” Every child is unique, so from a strategic perspective, teaching according to each child’s aptitude is key. But parents themselves also differ greatly in their circumstances, so we cannot judge everyone by the same standard. At the most basic level, companionship and love should matter most. When circumstances do not allow parents to spend long hours with their children, the key becomes how to make good use of limited time together. And companionship may not take only one form. As for love, it is indispensable for mental and emotional well-being. A lack of material resources may affect a child’s health to some extent—though in today’s society those differences are gradually shrinking—but a lack of love and care can be fatal to a person’s psychological development. Parental indifference and violence may be major causes of a child’s difficulty adapting socially, while a lack of care and neglect can make children far more vulnerable to bullying, violence, or abuse as they grow up.

On the foundation of companionship and care, if parents have the capacity, they should hold themselves to a higher standard. The Chinese language is rich in meaning, and even a simple reading of the characters can reveal a good deal of wisdom. The word “education” (教育) itself points to two parts: teaching and nurturing, placing mental and physical health on equal footing. The character for “teaching” suggests both moral education and intellectual education, both of which deserve emphasis. The ancient script form of “nurturing” resembles a woman giving birth, with one large and one small figure, and can be extended to mean raising a child—highlighting the importance of physical well-being.

Physical health is the foundation of everything. Yet our ideas about child-rearing often still remain at the level of hearsay, unsupported traditions, and taboos, many of which may do more harm and cause more suffering than promote health. Even more disheartening is how many parents refuse to learn. If raising children relies only on instinct, then in what way are we different from primitive humans? None of the parenting difficulties we face are truly unique, but without sufficient learning, we are bound to fall again into the same old pitfalls that countless others have stumbled over before us. In the most basic aspects of raising children, continual learning may be more valuable than all kinds of supplements and secondhand advice.

For parents, moral education, intellectual education, and physical health are all essential dimensions of education. This is especially important in today’s society. Technological and commercial development have shattered many traditional values and moral concepts, yet no new ethical framework has been firmly established. Written, formalized rules alone are not enough to guide action. Parents need instead to learn through practice, to reflect, to communicate, and to uncover the principles in human nature that should still be upheld. This was once the work of philosophers.

Beyond morality, the education of knowledge is even more important. Educational institutions exist, but they cannot simply be relied upon. Looking back twenty years and comparing that with today, the speed of change in the world is staggering. Yet much of education still remains stuck in the achievements of human civilization from fifty, one hundred, or even two hundred years ago. How can such an education prepare children for contemporary society? Outside school, most private institutions are driven primarily by profit and cannot truly provide children with education that is both adaptive and meaningful. In many biographies of notable figures, education was carried out by parents, and many skills and crafts were passed from father to child. In our own time, parents have a responsibility to pass on the arts of living and the practical skills suited to today’s society. Personally, I am also trying to explore how to teach my son the most competitive skills of our era—such as computers, programming, and even artificial intelligence.

Although not every parent has the same foundation or skill set, modern society has also given us a more equal opportunity than ever before. The internet and online learning platforms have given everyone fairer access to education. Even for parents, in a rapidly changing world, education should remain a lifelong undertaking. Through such platforms, parents can provide their children with educational opportunities they themselves may not possess. But choices and discernment are still necessary, because the age we live in is no longer defined by a lack of information, but by an overload of it. Choosing has become more important than simply learning.